the nicer i am to people, the meaner they are.

so last night, it was disgustingly busy at work. because, apparently a little bit of rain means that the apocalypse is coming and people need to stock up on canned foods for their fall out shelter, and plenty of milk and bread to tide them over. so our power kept flickering and 90% of the people coming into the store were in a foul mood. i, on the otherhand, was not. i was closing with one of my favorite people, N., and nights i close with her are always a laugh.

so amongst the cranky elite was this lady who will be referred to as the wine lady from now on. i had just heated up my dinner, and N. was at the desk helping out these people sending a western union. fine. so the wine lady comes up, and i ask her what she needs help with. and as soon as she opened her mouth, i was like "...". the following is the exchange between the two of us:

Wine Lady: "excuse me but what is your policy regarding things that scan wrong?"
Me: "well what was it that scanned incorrectly?"
WL: (she kind of gave me a withering look, which kind of perplexed me) "well, this bottle of wine is marked 8.99 but it is ringing up at 9.49..."
me: "well, because it is wine, i am only allowed by law to give you back the difference in prices, as opposed to our policy regarding the regular items, which is you would get it for free"
WL: "oh."
Me: "ma'am i just need to see the wine please. thank you"

so at this point i have the bottle in question in my possession. i am filling out the form that's needed for this type of situation, and N. leans over and is like "you know you can only give her the difference right" (cause she had missed my explaination). to which i responded "yeah i already let her know that was the deal". and continued on, ringing up her refund.

Me: "here you go ma'am 54 cents. have a nice day"
WL: "thanks...and WHAT was your name again?"
Me: "...m. why was there a problem?"
WL: "your ATTITUDE was the only problem." while her goofy ass husband laughs in the background.

my jaw dropped. like there was absolutely nothing attitude-y about my exchange with her, i was insanely pleasant. and N. just looks at me with the same expression and goes "what the FUCK just happened? like...how was that even a viable response to you!"

i seriously don't get it. several of my coworkers have said to me that i am acutally TOO nice and people take it as me being all fake nice and what not. what the fuck ever. i am just gonna start being horrible to people. and i mean it. GRRRR see i'm tough and mean! YEAH!

would you like a leech for some bloodletting instead?

so like a week ago, i'm standing at the customer service counter. as always. honestly, i forget who was up there with me, but if they read this then they can back me up on the weirdoness that was this woman. i feel like it was D. but i could be wrong wrong wrong. and this woman with her brood of scarily blonde children comes up to me. and she looks agitated. quite frankly, i assume it had something to do with the fact she was boggled down with the children of the corn, so i decided to be extra nice to her. i mean, its not MY fault she doesn't know the value of a good perscription from her OB/GYN....

regardless. i very nicely ask her how i could help her, and she promply starts complaining that her son got a scrape from something sticking out from the bottom of one of our aisles.. ok fine. thats not good. so i apologize up one side and down the other, asking if she'd like to speak to a manager, asking if she needs anything.

"well. can i have a BAND-AID?"

thinking to myself "theres no need to get snippy with me...", but i replied with "do you want some neosporin too?"

and she's all "obviously."

so i rip a band-aid out of the STERILE band-aid book, grab the neosporin, and hand it to her, still apologizing, god knows why at this point. APPARENTLY this wasn't good enough...because...

"don't you have any band-aids that aren't 50 years old?" and my jaw just dropped. i'm relatively sure that i ever said "WHAT?!"

her response was something along these lines "this band-aid. it's OLD" when in fact, i took it out of a band new box of sterile band-aids. it was the first to be taken out of pack, too. which i showed her. and she then proceeds to ask:

"well, don't you have a first aid kit?" no lady. we actually have a drawer full of first aid items
, but not an actual box labeled "first aid kit" with a big ole red cross on it. which i told her, in less words. she huffed at me, opened the band aid and then calls me back over.

"why is it LIKE this?"

"like what?"

"with these HOLES in it?"

"...seriously? they are so the wound can breathe?"

"i have NEVER seen band-aids with holes in them before. are you SURE you don't have any other ones?" at which point, her oldest, who was obviously the black sheep in the family due to her reddish hair pipes up "MOMMY THE BAND-AIDS AT SCHOOL ALL HAVE HOLES IN THEM!"

and i actually snorted with laughter. i wanted to high-five this little girl. she was my hero. her mom then nastily told her to pipe down, huffed, puffed, and put the band-aid back on her son and walked away.

then i retreated into the cash office where i started laughing so hard i couldn't stop.

seriously. "why are there holes in this band-aid?" jesus effin christ.

another day in paradise, ladies and gents.

OK

sorry, i am so effin busy with school and (lol) work, that i haven't really had a chance to update. however, i have a few things up my sleeve after my exams this week and next are done :)

STAY TUNED!