the nicer i am to people, the meaner they are.

so last night, it was disgustingly busy at work. because, apparently a little bit of rain means that the apocalypse is coming and people need to stock up on canned foods for their fall out shelter, and plenty of milk and bread to tide them over. so our power kept flickering and 90% of the people coming into the store were in a foul mood. i, on the otherhand, was not. i was closing with one of my favorite people, N., and nights i close with her are always a laugh.

so amongst the cranky elite was this lady who will be referred to as the wine lady from now on. i had just heated up my dinner, and N. was at the desk helping out these people sending a western union. fine. so the wine lady comes up, and i ask her what she needs help with. and as soon as she opened her mouth, i was like "...". the following is the exchange between the two of us:

Wine Lady: "excuse me but what is your policy regarding things that scan wrong?"
Me: "well what was it that scanned incorrectly?"
WL: (she kind of gave me a withering look, which kind of perplexed me) "well, this bottle of wine is marked 8.99 but it is ringing up at 9.49..."
me: "well, because it is wine, i am only allowed by law to give you back the difference in prices, as opposed to our policy regarding the regular items, which is you would get it for free"
WL: "oh."
Me: "ma'am i just need to see the wine please. thank you"

so at this point i have the bottle in question in my possession. i am filling out the form that's needed for this type of situation, and N. leans over and is like "you know you can only give her the difference right" (cause she had missed my explaination). to which i responded "yeah i already let her know that was the deal". and continued on, ringing up her refund.

Me: "here you go ma'am 54 cents. have a nice day"
WL: "thanks...and WHAT was your name again?"
Me: "...m. why was there a problem?"
WL: "your ATTITUDE was the only problem." while her goofy ass husband laughs in the background.

my jaw dropped. like there was absolutely nothing attitude-y about my exchange with her, i was insanely pleasant. and N. just looks at me with the same expression and goes "what the FUCK just happened? like...how was that even a viable response to you!"

i seriously don't get it. several of my coworkers have said to me that i am acutally TOO nice and people take it as me being all fake nice and what not. what the fuck ever. i am just gonna start being horrible to people. and i mean it. GRRRR see i'm tough and mean! YEAH!

would you like a leech for some bloodletting instead?

so like a week ago, i'm standing at the customer service counter. as always. honestly, i forget who was up there with me, but if they read this then they can back me up on the weirdoness that was this woman. i feel like it was D. but i could be wrong wrong wrong. and this woman with her brood of scarily blonde children comes up to me. and she looks agitated. quite frankly, i assume it had something to do with the fact she was boggled down with the children of the corn, so i decided to be extra nice to her. i mean, its not MY fault she doesn't know the value of a good perscription from her OB/GYN....

regardless. i very nicely ask her how i could help her, and she promply starts complaining that her son got a scrape from something sticking out from the bottom of one of our aisles.. ok fine. thats not good. so i apologize up one side and down the other, asking if she'd like to speak to a manager, asking if she needs anything.

"well. can i have a BAND-AID?"

thinking to myself "theres no need to get snippy with me...", but i replied with "do you want some neosporin too?"

and she's all "obviously."

so i rip a band-aid out of the STERILE band-aid book, grab the neosporin, and hand it to her, still apologizing, god knows why at this point. APPARENTLY this wasn't good enough...because...

"don't you have any band-aids that aren't 50 years old?" and my jaw just dropped. i'm relatively sure that i ever said "WHAT?!"

her response was something along these lines "this band-aid. it's OLD" when in fact, i took it out of a band new box of sterile band-aids. it was the first to be taken out of pack, too. which i showed her. and she then proceeds to ask:

"well, don't you have a first aid kit?" no lady. we actually have a drawer full of first aid items
, but not an actual box labeled "first aid kit" with a big ole red cross on it. which i told her, in less words. she huffed at me, opened the band aid and then calls me back over.

"why is it LIKE this?"

"like what?"

"with these HOLES in it?"

"...seriously? they are so the wound can breathe?"

"i have NEVER seen band-aids with holes in them before. are you SURE you don't have any other ones?" at which point, her oldest, who was obviously the black sheep in the family due to her reddish hair pipes up "MOMMY THE BAND-AIDS AT SCHOOL ALL HAVE HOLES IN THEM!"

and i actually snorted with laughter. i wanted to high-five this little girl. she was my hero. her mom then nastily told her to pipe down, huffed, puffed, and put the band-aid back on her son and walked away.

then i retreated into the cash office where i started laughing so hard i couldn't stop.

seriously. "why are there holes in this band-aid?" jesus effin christ.

another day in paradise, ladies and gents.

OK

sorry, i am so effin busy with school and (lol) work, that i haven't really had a chance to update. however, i have a few things up my sleeve after my exams this week and next are done :)

STAY TUNED!

some general musings...

thank you to the old man who bought me a lottery ticket tonight, you were very nice. however i would've liked a glass of the wine you were buying. hahaha

a big ole screw you to the old man who called me mean. not because i was mean or anything, but because i told you the service desk wasn't a register...i mean, that would've been totally dick of me to kick you out if it was busy, but you walked right up to whoever was on register 3 and payed. go to hell.

hey lady, don't come in at 8:55 and get a cart. you're risking running into the wrath of my friend and i. we'll cut you, cause you SO don't need to be buying a zillion dollars of groceries at that point in the night. you should've planned your weekend better, BITCH!

oh, and why the hell was it so busy today? shouldn't you people be watching football? if you have a TV there's at LEAST 4 games on, so watch em. and get out of my store. cause let's face it. i would be sitting, drinking beer, and watching football, if i didn't have to be at the godforsaken grocery store.

UGHHHHHHHH

today sucked. wahhhhhhhhhh

omfg patience!

i've had this one written out, but i hadn't typed it out or anything. so bear with the "this mornings" and what not.

ok. so. running the front end and manning the customer service counter for as long as i have has given me the fan-flippin-tastic ability to witness some of the most idiotic and impatient people. some of my favorites involve people who don't like to wait in line

• just this morning, out of three regular registers (the other open register was designated as an express lane), i got to see a woman switch lines 6 times. SIX. AS IN ONE MORE THAN FIVE. had she picked one and stayed with it, i am willing to garauntee that she would have flew through the line. i mean, for the love of christ, did she not attend pre-school or something? i mean, one of the first effin things you learn in pre-k is the importance of waiting yr turn. i guess she was absent that day....
• this is sort of in the same vein, but bear with me here. one of the worst things ever is those people that have one single person in front of them, and they roll their eyes and sigh audibly, all while giving me (or whoever is running the front end) nasty-ass looks for the duration of their minute and a half spent on line. even better, is when these people have the balls to ask us to open when its not busy.
• "don't you have any more cashiers?!" "um, i'm sorry, no i do not...?" "what about you, can i pay here?" (side note. this occurs when i am standing at the podium. there is not REGISTER at the podium. am i supposed to conjure one out of thin air?) "ma'am/sir/transvestite, i apologize, but i am not a cashier right now ::winning smile::" i mean. people can clearly see that my station isn't a register, and that i am most likely smack in the middle of paper work, or filling out pickup bags, or like...i don't even know figuring out when to send people on break. all of this be cause theyre is one person in front of them. LOVE ITTTTTTT
• in this vein---my little managers area thing is not a register people. i can't check prices for you, i can't make change for you, and no, you can't pay for your 1/2 pound of sliced roast turkey here either.

also, to the lady who argued with me tonight of 30 cents, you're a twat. you're the one who wanted a more expensive replacement. i didn't tell you to choose that one. fuck off.

Sorry for the delay

*gasp* i've actually had some semblance of a social life. omg!

so i've decided to focus on the lottery lady today. this woman...she has a problem. so i feel slightly bad that i'm subjecting her to a description in my blog. but the other night, i was ready to lose it.

ok. so this lady always comes in with her husband. they grab two carts, and then he does the shopping, while she sits at the machine and plays scratch offs. like...incessantly. it used to be worse, because we used to have the scratch off's behind the counter and she would stand there, and talk and talk and scratch and scratch and it just was terrible. it's still pretty awful, cause she will hand you like, 400 tickets to check, all while subjecting you to this boring, totally stupid diatribe about ANYTHINGGGGGG.

usually i can put up with it. but the other night i just couldn't even take it. she came in at like, 20 minutes before we close. once again, usually i can handle it, but i had to buy groceries. and the only time i get to do it is at the end of my shift. usually, what i do is grab a few things, and run it back to the desk, check if anyones there, then keep shopping. fine. but she was getting almost nasty with me. i'm sorry, but i have shit that needs to be done at the end of my shift in the desk. it's nothing super important, but regardless, it has to get done. and couple that with the fact i had to buy a few things (the severe dearth of slightly healthy food in my house was disgusting), i was just trying to get stuff done. would have been able too, had she not been in there annoying the HELL out of me. and then for her to get nasty (which she almost never does), i was like UGH GET AWAY FROM MEEEEE

thank god that we closed, and she had to go home. lol

there's no such thing as a free lunch

...but there is if you nick it off our shelves!

shoplifters. every kid goes through it, do they not? i mean...what 14 year old girl didn't steal makeup from the local drugstore? but whatever. i'm not talking about the run of the mill, young teenage shoplifters. i'm talking about crazy people who just steal things and return them for money. a TON of people do this. there's the meat lady (who will get her own entry, i assure you. she's that good), the drunk shoplifter, and my personal favorite...the razor guy.

this guy...ok. he's come into the store before, and he creeped me out before i realized his gig. then, one afternoon he bought a pack of cigs from me and left. nooooo big deal. however, i get a phonecall later that night from another of of local stores saying "there's a guy who is trying to return razor blades and we have a very strong suspicion that he stole them. he has no receipt, don't do the return!". so i let my manager know, and she was like "come on m., you know the policy. you have to issue it". so i do. fine.

like, a week later, discussing it with my store manager, as well as the assistant manager (the one who told me i had to do the return), and we came to the conclusion that there are exceptions to the rule. fine. later that night, the guy comes in again. i saw him as i was running to get a price check for a customer, with a basket full of stuff. turns out, he's walking to my desk, and is there when i return. he asks me for the results of the past weekends big lottery, and i give it to him. i promptly walk to the frozen aisle, let my manager know he's in here and maybe she'll want to keep an eye on him. she followed me back to the desk, where i notice him packing up the shit that was in his basket with bags he filched off the registers...and starting to walk out the door. i was like "N. wtf...he didn't pay for annnnny of that!" she followed him out. and threatened to call the cops. OH. and he attempted to steal like 76$ worth of shit, including a bottle of jameson 12 yr. WTF

and hes nasty. like.. wtf. i hate this guy. maybe cause i am full of rage today. hah

no work since monday. life is good, eh?