stupid bitch has made it personal now!

ok. so this has gone on for far too long, so long that i feel it cannot be ignored any longer. i am, of course, talking about the glove lady. she is a local crazy that shops at my store. this woman is constantly causing a scene, and trying to scam us for multiple rainchecks, among other things. she is cuckoo-bananas, absolutely bat-shit crazy. she is one of those insane germaphobes who wears rubber gloves and never lets us touch her items to scan them. she has apparently given people several different reasons as to why she wears these gloves. one of the most recent, and my personal favorite, is that "someone in my building has AIDS and i don't want to catch it. oh and my downstairs neighbor is a stripper." SOMEONE NEEDS TO SET THIS BITCH STRAIGHT ABOUT THE TRANSMISSION OF HIV.

So, a few weeks ago, she tried to weasel 3 rainchecks out of me (each for a separate flavor of ice cream. piss. off. lady. one raincheck per person.). she managed to finagle another one out of D., because glove lady was still in the store when the shift changed. i decided to no longer put up with her bull shit. her bullshit has since spawned such notes as this:


i am so classy at writing notes, i know.

anyway, i've taken to sniffling and developing a hacking cough whenever i see her coming on my line for customer service. haha SO MATURE. so last week, i had an unusually long line at the service desk and i'm plowing through it. i see her then hop on the line, then acutally try to cut in front of people. so i made a big ole production of coughing and sniffling. of course, glovie's disease radar picked right up on it and was she screams (she never speaks. just yells. loudly.) "oh NO are you SICK!?!?!" and i could barely supress my laughter as i replied "oh yeah, i must be coming down with something". her eyes bugged right out of her skull and she pretty much shrieked "OMG I NEED A RAIN CHECK BUT I DONT WANT TO RISK IT!" at this point, i almost lost it . i later learned that she cornered L. and made her write a raincheck because she suspected that i was "highly contagious".

ordinarily, i would not actually make fun of people like this. i mean, she obviously has a problem. but yesterday, this lady stepped over the line, and it became personal.

Glove lady sauntered up to my counter, completely oblivious to the fact that i was helping a customer and tried to interrupt. annoyingggggggggg. so i told her that she had to wait her turn. When this glorious time arrived, she let me know (loudly, of course) that her bread was as hard as a rock and that she was gonna get another one. fine, whatever. she then returned with her bread. and a thing of soup that she wanted to pay for at the desk. but here's the catch. she threw money at me and wouldn't let me touch her soup to ring up. when i tried to take it from her (force of habit i guess), she freaked out and was like "OH NO YOU DONT YOU KNOW I HAVE SENSATIVITIES!" so...i tried to move the (somewhat) broken hand scanner. and it wouldn't ring up her thing. and when i kindly told her she'd have to go to a register cause it wasn't working, she stalked off muttering under her breath. where she met B. from produce. and promptly wasted no time telling that "SHE SHOULDNT OPEN HER MOUTH CAUSE SHE HAS TB. I KNOW CAUSE MY DOCTOR TOLD ME SHE DID"

wait wait wait. i have tuburculosis...and i'm working at stop and shop. yes. yes, thats right. i lost it. 110% lost it. i'm still laughing about it. a lot. jesus christ.

WAIT THATS NOT ALL. the next day, i walk into work, and N. is hysterical. because apparently, glovie came in screaming about how she feels threatened (or something) because our cart guy, S., has TB as well. OMFG GUYS ITS AN EPIDEMIC! QUICK! START HANDING OUT THOSE SARS MASKS AT THE DOOR!

i can't even. like, there must be something in the water around here.